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Wednesday, January 30, 2008, 11:17 PM
"Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind" - 27 Dresses
 watched 27 Dresses today. a movie that every girl must watch. it was awesome, pretty, sweet, romantic. simply more than perfect. i love movies which have lovely endings. (:  i want a more than perfect wedding, with my girls as bridesmaids. it was the last immunology lesson. my heart feels heavy suddenly, when i remember i'm not going to see all the cutiepies in my class anymore. it was really fun working with all of them. Wednesday's my favourite day. i confessed to all of u, cause i thought i shouldn't hide it any longer. hide it any longer from the people whom mean my life. |
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 10:10 PM
today's one of the rarest day.
i woke up with a broad smile across my face.  it must be u. the reason for me to glow. the sweetest things that u mentioned. why are u still so sweet to me, after all the pain i made u go thru. i'm feeling guilty. as much as i miss u. i want to ignore u. for i don't want to hurt both our hearts again. school's ending in another three days. am going to miss everyone ard. the thought of rotting at home, oh no!! need to go on a job-hunt soon.  i just want u to know, u are an inevitable part in my life. no matter, what we go thru. i will never let u go. i love u.  if my first kiss was ur last kiss... |
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Monday, January 28, 2008, 10:03 PM
 initially i was so bothered, disturbed by the fact that u were so disturbed.i didn't noe what was bothering you, i felt helpless when i couldn't do anything to cheer u up. not knowing why and what bothered u. but now, i wish i hadn't even asked u. the few lines. it wrecked ma heart. why?! it is ma fault. i had been too selfish. only thinking about myself. i gave u up for the fun that i had ard me. now i know, i had been a bitch in this friendship. i only made use of ur presence. thanks for letting me know how u felt. now i know, how much i took advantage of u. sorry is the biggest word i can find, to ask u to forgive me. i'm sorry for being such an unreasonable friend. there's no more to say. i am speechless, stunned.  i let the tears flow to mend ma heart. happiness doesn't seem to last. the times when happiness fills me. hurt and sorrow comes in, to take over. |
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Sunday, January 27, 2008, 12:08 AM
ok, the third birthday wish in a row.
 Wishing ma angel, Kalaivani a lovely birthday.U're finally 18. Go crazy, baby!! Love u so much. daddy's birthday celebration went fine. we all had a happy time. ((: after reading a particular entry, it reminded me of myself. of how much i gave up for him, and in return... nice. how unpredictable can a guy get? |
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Saturday, January 26, 2008, 12:49 AM
Happy Birthday Daddy!  i hope you liked the cake and the gifts. it's the least that i can do for you, compared to whatever you have given me. to the best of ur abilities. I LOVE YOU, DADDY. may god bless you with everything! kisses.kisses. love.love. |
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Friday, January 25, 2008, 11:10 PM
 had the time of my life today. birthday celebrations in school was beyond explanation. it made everyone glow. we've started intense FYP discussions. plotting our plans during break and after school. && discussion after school evolved into total distraction. when the girls got heated up && started to shake it. th grinding, the grooving. whoaaa.. we are simply smokin' hot, ma ladies! apparently, certain ppl were jealous of how we had a life and they didn't. thus, the fun came to a miserable end. thanks to that security guard. lol. i neva knew RP had a DM. wth. it's so secondary school. oh well, once i meet the DM. i'll publicize his/her presence ard the sch, not to worry. && then came, Fazli's Birthday celebrations. which turned out great. except for the part, when the pizza hut aunty revealed my surprise. when we told her to clean the table, she blared out that she was gonna bring the cake. && poof. my surprise for ma bestie was demolished! so disheartening. nevertheless, ma bestie had a great b'day. && it was good catch up time with mr.chua. mr.chua, get married soon. or at least adopt 403'05 as ur kids, so we can have ur CPF money. :p on a more emotional note:- why do guys treat the girl's mind & heart as a playground? oh blenski, smile... (:  u noe, u are ma glimpse of light that i look up to.u shud only be shining bright, but nothing else. && we all need the happy blenski ard. i love u. |
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, 11:01 AM
 ♥ Happy Birthday ♥to ♥ Angel Nurimah!! ♥ ♥ Happy Birthday ♥ to ♥ Ma Bestie, Fazli!! ♥ May of all your sweetest dreams come thru today && forever & ever. We all love you so very much, dearies. Enjoy this day to the fullest. ♥ LOVE LOVE ♥ |
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Thursday, January 24, 2008, 11:01 PM
 i should have listened. i shouldn't have talked to u. despite, knowing you will shatter the remaining pieces of my heart. it's done. the words that you threw at me; u will never realize the pain that it inflicted in me. i am leaving, my lover. i won't be around even if you return. there's no more to say. You'll be in my memory, somewhere far, behind. this is specially dedicated to my dearies. nesha.nurimah.rosey.shakthee.sherilyn.  You are my best friend, But you're more than a friend, You understand me like no one else could, You make me smile when I'm down, You've helped me turn my life around, You're always there when I need a friend. We help each other with our troubles, We'll stick together through thick and thin, We'll help each other to the end. We've had our fights, But never said goodbye, And hopefully we never will No matter what the tests say, No matter what happens, No matter what we go through, We'll be there for each other always.i doubt i would have survived the day, if I didn't have you guys ard. i appreciate the fact that u're all there to help me up. there's nothing more than my love that i can express for the four of u. i love u, ma sweethearts. it was nice hanging out with the girls, chattering about things that were so carefree. more hang-out sessions we shud have. it lightens all our moods. && the superficial friendship && the unwanted tension. it's so unnecessary. oh, why do i even bother. shoo away!* mcb ut, wasn't that bad. but as usual no high hopes. shopping with mummy was so fun. when you get to talk to her about things that are so unrelevant && see the weird expression that she gives. it's awesomely cute. **nesha and i have a relationship which is the fine line in btw pure lust and pure love** :p i want to be myself again. just the way i was before you destroyed me beautifully. |
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008, 9:31 PM
it's a miracle that i attended school the day after thaipusam.
a record broken after 6 years. thanks to shakthee. mummy was rather shocked to see me going off to school. that was panic attack #1 for her. panic attack #2. when i called her at her office, to ask her if i could donate blood. her voice frequency indicated she was panicking, together with her colleagues. she couldn't bring herself to accept the fact, her daughter wanted to donate blood.  unfortunately, i am sick. so couldn't donate any blood. it was so hilarious to see requirements like, - no multiple sex partners. - never paid for sex or visited prostitute. ((: no regrets going to school. there was the warm feeling going on today. partly, cause the school was like totally empty. immuno was rather easy. && certain people. over-dramatic. i certainly have no comments about it. after months, i finally chatted with a very good close gf. ended up tearing in class while telling her what happened. i guess it's just a reflex, to start tearing when i mention your name. do you realize what you have done to me? when i see you online, all i want to do. to tell you to come back to me. cause life doesn't seem to move on without you. |
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Monday, January 21, 2008, 9:06 PM
it wasn't like any other day. pharmacology ut wasn't that bad.  nevertheless, no high hopes cause i might end up with a D. like usual. definitely gonna screw up immuno, pretty sure about it. i just want to be left alone rite now. how is it possible that am feeling empty but with so much of thoughts. so much to blog, but no words that can be stringed. i want u to know, sweetheart just a lie, u love me. will make me the happiest person. |
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Sunday, January 20, 2008, 1:48 AM
 im finding it hard to breathe im sitting here i want to scream this place is warped this world is cracked i love you so much and i want you back i dont see how you dont love me its so depressing its hard to believe
theres nothing to do so i think about you i start to cry i cant figure out why you left so i sit here alone and i try not to think about you in vain attempt. i try not to think about you. |
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Friday, January 18, 2008, 11:19 PM
the day was filled with much laughter. so much that ma throat feels itchy and sore now.
Nasri's such an adore. it amuses me how he is able to make the people around him happy. && Ooo. his upper thigh is a turn on spot. i found out. :x i love the fact that he was unable to talk back. for once. if only, it could be like that all the time. nasri, if u read this, make sure ur ego doesn't rise. your a sweetipie. some hot rants with puffy cakes that lightened the mood. as usually ended up sexual. it's in our blood. hidden sexuality. ok maybe not hidden. but it makes us hawt lil cutie puffy cake and brownie. i love ma puffy cake. i love ma girls. ((: ------------------- it would have been a year tmr, honey. i wonder if u remember? i'm trying ma best to treat it like any other day. -------------------   i want to have the most passionate cherry kiss with you. can i? u get me all heated up, baby, just with a smile. && a growl. && BEFORE I FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT MADE ME LAUGH MA ASS OFF!  when nesha sent this to me,i felt like a chemisty lab specimen. it was send to her by johann. trust me, he will be a first class distinction student if takes up a PhD in women. && yes, we, ladies are all of properties, uses and hazards stated above. but we are exclusive because we're like that. accept it guys. ((: |
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008, 11:07 PM
why do i get the feeling that something's gonna blow up soon? it's disturbing.
&& a certain someone has been overdoing things. it's simply getting on ma nerves. well, let's move to the sweet part. it was so nice to work with YIT FANG! he's god damn cute && cheeky such an adorable cutiepie. Bus ride with Nasri was fun. I was so tempted to lie on his shoulders for a short nap. u can't blame me, i am so used to lying on Rosey when she's next to me.  he knows how to make me happy. he made me smile to maself over and over again, like a small kid. why do i get jealous over the fact that he talks about other girls? |
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008, 11:09 AM
 i feel like a withering flower
dying in the center of the class. i'm simply staring blankly into the thin air hoping to be rescued from this pure boredom & tiredness. i need spice in ma life. |
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Sunday, January 13, 2008, 11:20 PM
my happy mood flung to some blah mood. i have ma reasons.
oh c'mon, u know for urself, u aren't gonna make it anywhere in this game. why do u pose urself like a successful man then? oh wait, wad do i call the game ur playing? hmmm let me guess, "the loser game!". ok i don't know why am so raged but, it's just annoying the hell outta me. so mister ex. comes back saying, he's going to change if i am willing to give him another chance. rite. u have a gf && u are makin ur moves on me. nice one. bless u asshole!!! and yea, Man United thrashed Newcastle 6-0. i watched the whole game with ma brother. and was totally hyperventilating over this Man United player. Introducing You:- Danny Simpson.  04 Jan 1987 - 21 years old. he's cute to me. he reminds me of the guy whom i saw in the train. the one whose face lingered in ma mind all nite long.  i need a break from the loser surrounding. i miss ma E35L girls. the light environment with blissfulness. a whole new relationship. |
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Friday, January 11, 2008, 11:44 PM
 feeling so worn out. i tried to put a smile across ma face, in hope to feel lighter. but as the day ended the whole grouchy, cranky mood took over. i have never felt this shagged before. i'm guessing ma mind overworked this whole week. the continuous breakdown during the week. i'm planning to stay home the next two days. to recuperate. && maybe. hopefully study for applied chem ut. u'll be the puppet master in control. only if u play ur cards well. && i hope u do. |
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, 12:05 AM
today must have been the compensation to yesterday's shitbrick. it was almost flawless. i wouldn't say perfect, there were a lil holes to make it imperfect.
nevertheless, the good part of the day took over the bad part of the day. today must have been the girls' lucky day or something. from the time i stepped out of ma house, till i returned home. hotness overflow from every corner. it couldn't get better when u have a hottie sitting rite in front of u. but nothing can beat seeing BEN in his hot stripes. the sight of him is enough to make me drool all over him. i wonder what more if he appears in front of me in his hot satin boxers :x broad shoulders, tight abs, hot ass && to top it off; his hidden sexuality behind his smile. ok, don't blame me for exploiting Ben. it's 12.33am && wild fantasies and imaginations of him takes over the mind of two cupcakes.  "BEN IS SEX" period. |
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Wednesday, January 9, 2008, 10:39 PM
 what sin did i commit in my past life to deserve all this shit today.
shitbrick.seriously. oh,c'mon. i am a strong girl. i can get through all this shit. haruna needs happy pill and tons of chocolate. i'm sorry fazli. i shouldn't have reacted that way. && am happy, we have a great understanding relationship ((: stay away.my emotional breakdown. |
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Tuesday, January 8, 2008, 10:56 PM
great.. just simply great.
u called. && the moment i hear ur voice. ma anger vanishes && ma love for you re-kindles. i wanted to tell u how much i miss u. but no, ma ego stopped me. and so, u called to justify urself. u called to check how i was doing? if i had moved on? a few questions we exchanged. && u ask if u could call to check on me once in awhile. ma heart skipped upon hearing that from you. yes, u can. it'll be love to hear ur voice. coz u don't know how much i miss you. rite now, the tears flow non-stop coz am so confused. i don't know wad am doing. i don't know wad am feeling. i don't deserve this one bit. why can't u just come back to me? |
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, 10:19 PM
i won't say it was a perfect day.
rather alright. class was fun. team with Clay and Patricia results in loads of digression. neva seemed to get our work done. bonding session with Nasri and C.S was nice. guys are guys, when it comes to computer games. Nasri had a weird explanation,... computer games were orgasmic?! then we were slacking at Mac, talking crap as usual. am kinda pissed and hurt rite now. i have no idea why i feel that way. it's probably coz u fucking screwed up everything. if u fucking do not want to see ma face, tell me directly. why on earth, did u have to say those things. am not regretting wad i did in anger. it wasn't a hasty decision. i never want to speak to u ever again. nor have ur memories ard me. fuck off. so did you lie? i wonder. |
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Monday, January 7, 2008, 11:46 AM
SAVE MA SOUL!
applied chemistry kills! )): |
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Saturday, January 5, 2008, 4:18 AM
Good news.
I PASSED MY PP! yippppeeee! :D :D |
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Thursday, January 3, 2008, 1:13 AM
new year was great. but same old same old.
like every year.the family had some hardcore gambling that went on. from 12am to like 5pm. sadly. i lost around $5. :x today was love. when the first msg u see in the "morning" is from ur loved one. met nesha for a movie. unexpectedly, met chong yang. i miss him. :x as usual. like wad we always do. hanged ard, talked loads of rubbish. had fun. i wish i can keep her with me, always. on the way back home, i saw this guy in the train. && his face is still lingering around in ma mind. a mix of malay and indian. nice eyes, eyelashes, lips. he really had a nice face :x not forgetting a nice body too. i hope i can see him around some time. mental note by nesha: forget wadeva u saw! i'm glad u din ignore me online. but, i wished u cud have talked more. or at least say sumthing sweet. will u call me? i miss ur voice. |
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Tuesday, January 1, 2008, 8:44 PM
 Welcome 2008! Happy New Year! to All Ma Loved Ones!! May Each One of Us Have a Blessed Year Ahead! |