here i am rotting and stoning in school with shakthee.
i love being here with her right now where the cafe is literally empty.
and the conversations that we have when we are together is totally love.
so much of things we share to lighten our hearts.
I'd be lost without these kinda special people in my life, like really.

ok.ok. attempting to get away from the emotional state.

we just had our very first FYP meeting with our faci, Mr. Shaun Cheng.
he's really nice.
&& i think my project is like super interesting.
we get to go on field trips and aimlessly walk around spotting sources of pollutants.
shakthee and i plan to go on a shopping spree to get clothes for our field trips. hehe.

did i mention?! pay day is around the corner.
whEeeeeeHoO!

also we spotted imah.kaira.nessa.
i so miss all of them, and it was so nice to get a bear hug from all of them!!

and before i end.
yesterday, my dearest sweet sister's 21st birthday party was an awesome blast.
valli is truly an angel, nothing can beat her.
pictures will be up real soon.

&& i realise most of my friends are turning 21.
so awesome eh?! they get their keys to the world of freedom.


haruna feels really happy right now.but she's got too many thoughts lingering around in her head

there's like one more official week to the end of holidays.
the thought itself is depressing and stressful.
getting out of bed 6 in the morning, traveling to and fro in a sardine-packed bus.
not forgetting our beloved final year project, something which is in between life and death.
urgh, i don't even want to think about it.
not forgetting, my new class. W56P.
i seriously have no comments over it.
it looks like a blardy cheena class. you know, the class where mandarin is the main language.
like wth!!. ok, no silly imaginations.
i'm going to try to be happy that i like my new class for now. -_-"

apart from whining and complaining.
i'm supposed to be out with nesha today.
was supposed to go hunt for a birthday present for a very special friend.
i don't think i can make it, and am totally broke.
if only April would come faster and i will be able to get my next pay.
i owe loads of people their birthday presents. *mental image of nesha*



on a separate note.
i wish you would just poof into thin air and never come back.
i hate the way you toy around with my soft spot for you.
if only i could tell you to stay away forever. sadly, the heart isn't strong enough to be that direct towards you.


another lazy day.

had our very first FYP meeting today.
i missed being around rosey.shakthee.nasri.
we managed to get our work done. but we got more bitching done.
i love nasri, he's like one of the girls.
it's so easy to gossip with him.

we worked on FYP for about two hours.
after that went to meet a certain friend at causeway.
it didn't turn out well.
lol. i could have like gone back home to sleep.
would have been much better.

ok, am in a very lazy grouchy mood.
blahhhhh!

it's 5.09am.
feeling really fucked up about not being able to sleep.
i tried real hard, rolled around the whole bed.
pushed all the pillows and blanket down.
failed miserably and here i am blogging at a ridiculous hour.

&& yes, i got too bored. i decided to hunt for a new blogskin.

and since am not able to sleep, i decided to call off the FYP meeting later.
knowing that i would definitely malfunction during the discussion.
and it seems like i did a favor to all of my dearest team mates.
i was seriously surprised that every single one of them replied my message instantaneously, even if it was bothering their good night sleep at 4am.
i am evil, i know. but it's for the greater good.
ok wait, that's rubbish.
postponing the discussion would only end us in getting screwed big time by the faci.
did i mention the faci was rather pissed that we didn't bother to check our mails.
who in the right frame of mind would check their mails during the holidays.
c'mon we need a break from school stuff.

bleh.ok, enough of rubbish uttered.
am going to try to sleep.

it has been weeks since i saw the time 5.00am on the alarm clock.
thanks to my menstrual cramps, i couldn't sleep.
was rolling around, watching tv till 10 plus before i managed to go back to bed.
sucks balls man.

nothing much happened today.
was rotting at home all day long,
went out with my mum in the evening.

before i end, i'll let you know tomorrow's horrendous plans.
i have to wake up 6 in the morning, even before the sun rises.
get my ass to school by 8.
and for what freaking reason. FINAL YEAR PROJECT!
seriously like WTF!
*hopefully it ends quick.. =(

there's always one person in your life, where u rattle about everything under the sun.
all the forbidden dirty little secrets that linger around your mind, you only tend to open up to this one person. because you know that he/she will never misunderstand you, misjudge u.

&& this one very special person in my life, nesha.
after much postponed dates, finally met her today.
as usual random phone calls, random plans.
aimless trip to Plaza Singapura, snuggling into a comfortable corner seat in Mac.
there was this flow of conversations that went on and on.
it never seem to have a full-stop at any point of time.
&& not forgetting our evil plans. :P

finally we separated each other.
hugging each other, not wanting to let go each other.
i know, dramatic isn't it.
but, it's just that i can never get enough of her.

i love nesha.


on a more separate and irritating note.
i am not les, people.
just because i kiss a girl, it doesn't make me a les.
i love guys, i lust guys and i only want a male partner.
urgh!

&& yes, i saw 2 gays on the train on the way to dhoby ghaut.
it was so bloody traumatizing!!

there's much lesser tension at home now.

i don't where to start right now, i don't know where to end either..
i can't stop crying.
i'm not sure if my tears are of any use, but i can't seem to stop.

mummy, i love you. i need you.
don't you understand that you are our everything?
what would we do without you?
please, don't say such things.. it hurts alot..
i love you, mummy..

ok, i'm practically laughing my ass off rite now.
because of one very frantic soul who called me up about 45 mins ago.

let me introduce you to Mr. Panicky, ashwin.
ashwin was innocently surfing youtube for some nice clips to entertain himself.
his innocence brought danger to his computer.
there was some virus that implanted itself and disabled his task manager.
right now, he's talking to himself on the phone.
and am happily listening to him whining and complaining away.

who in the earth would know youtube causes so much trouble!!

i chose to change to this particular skin.
because i love Venice.

i've always wanted to visit Venice.
&& i will, in time to come, with my other half!


isn't is beautiful?

i feel fucking messed up right now.
it's way beyond explanation, why i feel this way.
i'm trying to gather all the answers for the questions that's running through my mind. it seems so impossible.
why on earth did it happen?
there's always this urge that i can never go against.
that's the reality. nevertheless, i feel really fucked up about it.
if only that couple of hours never existed!

well at least, i have a few happy moments to share about, and console myself.
was out with my two devilish dearies today. praveena and rosey.
we met for lunch. i should add in the point that i was freaking late. thanks to the blardy queue at the polyclinic.
after lunch at LJS. we went to catch the movie, rule #1. wasn't too bad, not too good either.
average on the whole.
i bought myself a dress. i like it very much. ((:

ard 6, i met a certain friend. went to wisma, in hope to get my old, white phone repaired.
failed miserably. the person over the counter said, there's no hope in my phone.
R.I.P my dearest white phone. :(

there's much more to the day, but some things are better when left unsaid.

had an awesome time with my family.
cheers to the elangovan family!


*smilessss*

the weather has been real good for the past two days.
i hope it stays like that throughout.
too much of rain affects me.

i'm going out with my family in an hour.
we'll be going to Tampines Mall to get some stuff for my brothers.
then off to East Coast Park. to have a sea-food dinner.
i'm secretly wishing my dad would get me the handphone while we are at TM.

i'm supposed to getting ready right now, but here i am blogging.
i feel toooo lazy to move around.

besides that, i've planned a meeting session on Wednesday.
to those who are involved.
i really hope we could get move on, and be BFF.



and explain to me.
why did you return?
and why are you missing now?

there's a certain random moment that i'm going through right now.
there' so much to say, there's so much to write.
yet, i do not know what's stopping me from penning it down.
ok, that was one of my random thoughts.

back to daily life.
today is the last day of work.
i'm rather happy, more than happy infact.
it's time to catch up on some good sleep and rest at home sweet home.
&& not forgetting FYP. got to start on some research work.
right now, there isn't anything to do at work.
shakthee's busy blogging. surprisingly, she tends to blog more often these days.
rosey decided to laze at home, abandoning us.
fazli's falling asleep on his keyboard.
i can see shaun across literally stoning and suffering from a hangover.
if only time could pass a little faster, so i can get my ass home and rot.

oh, did i mention.
tomorrow is my brother's birthday.
i'll be off to get him a present after work.
still contemplating on what fruitful stuff i can get him.
aren't i such a sweet sister?!.. yes i am.

&& not forgetting, last night.
my dad was pissed with me, for blowing my handphone bill.
and he let me off with a very stern warning.
the next time my bill exceeds, say buhbye to my dearest companion. the handphone.

ok, i think there's more work coming up.
they aren't happy about us rotting at our work bench.



why haven't you call?
i miss you. i miss your voice.

i do what i feel is right.
i do what my heart tells me to do.
i judge what i do with my mind.
i am not out of my mind. i'm still in reality.

it's not as if i committed an unforgivable sin, you know.
it felt very nice to be pampered after a long time.

&& noo, i don't want to be in a relationship with him.
i just want to have him around him, no matter how much he might done in the past.
it's not wrong right? why all the screwing and degrading?

i'm very much disappointed.
i know what i'm doing, please don't hurt me so much with the words..

O.M.F.G!
there it goes again, another closed chapter of my life reopens.
i'm actually happy you appeared again,
i'm flattered you remember so much about me even after a year.
but noo, partly, why did you even return.
i don't want to go through it all over again.
it was painful, hurtful.

i missed u. i missed u not.

stay away, don't invade my heart again.

the only question that i ask.
what have we become of?
from the bestest,thickest of friends.
do you see where we are being led to now?
is this what we call, that very thin line of friction between the closest?

come back to your senses.
we need to clear this mess up.
and be a happy family together.
people uttering the word distrust in friends.
hurts so much.

will i have my happy family back?

is the lucky fairy flying around my head today or something.
unbelievably, i managed to get 7 confirmations today.
4 within 2 hours, great isn't it.
it's the first time in weeks of working.
yeap, i'm very very proud of myself.
and another happy note to myself, Wednesday maybe the last day of work.
wooohooo! i'm so happy.
finally, i get to enjoy the comforts of my room.

oh yes, before i forget.
clubbing on friday night with shakthee, erica and shakthee's brother, was way beyond awesome.
but just one advise, ma ladies. avoid dancing in heels. ur feet will be literally killing u.
4 hours of dancing numbed my feet, and am in need of full body massage right now.
and kampong'ing at shakthee's place was fun.
we shud do it sometime again, girl.


lalalalalalalala! *smiles*

it's finally friday.
yipee, say hi to the weekend.

I've got a day off today.
thanks to Jakarta's, they are having some public holiday today.
and so they only needed two telemarketers at work.
my dearest rosey chose to work, so shakthee and i could take a day off.

i'll be leaving for shakthee's place in about 1 hour.
before that, i have to rush to go collect my black jeans that i sent for alteration a while ago.
i had to pay $15 for the blardy alteration when i could have gotten it done by my dad for free.
dumb eh?!

i'm feeling rather nervous and excited.
it's going to be my first time to enter a club.
what if the bouncer stops me and say, u look too small to go in.
damn, embarrassing!
yeap, i have to remember to bring my identification card along everywhere i go.

ok, i got to go get ready.
shakthee will definitely bite me if am going to be late.

i'll update tomorrow night.
and yes, definitely with pictures.


*big wide grins*

don't you think the weather is total crap?

i'm practically freezing.

i wish i could snuggle all day long in the comforts of my bed.

Kaching! Kaching!
guess what, today's payday.
and i'm a happy girl & rich girl!!

((:

my dad's leaving for austrailia today.
he will be away for the next 10 days.
&& hell yes, i'm going to miss him.
there's no other feeling that can be compared to when your daddy's around to keep his little girl safe.
let's hope time will fly a little faster for the next 10 days.

meanwhile, in the amidst of all the whining that my dad's leaving.
i've planned a something for this coming friday.
i hope all my girls will be willing to come. ((: