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Monday, June 30, 2008, 2:20 PM
 totally worn out.here i am, rotting in the middle of the library. to be more precise. massive stoning in process. i can't seem to be focused. it's like the soul and body are in two different places. my soul seeks my dark room, my comfy bed. that's all i need right now. because i am so drained. am not surprised about oversleeping and meeting the others late. i very well knew this would be the result after sleeping at 4.30 in the morning. logbook's done. i hope it's good enough for shaun cheng. now we've got poster left and a presentation rehearsal at 5.00pm. i don't see what we are going to rehearse when nothing is prepared in the first place. this damn project is so god damn expensive. the printing of the pictures, report, poster. it adds on to the list. and am getting poorer each day. i don't have anything else to rant about besides this dumb project. it'll be over this Wednesday. roughly two more days. seriously, i need a break from Kallang River. crap. sooner or later, Kallang will be my first home. you will see me, nasri, rosey, c.s, shakthee, camping there in our mini tents. nasri will be fishing/sampling the water with his fisherman hat. *mental image* hehe. hopefully, if financial status is still in stable condition, wanted on Wednesday after the evaluation. whee! jolie is so hot!! i want my bed!! focus, haruna. focus!! |
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Sunday, June 29, 2008, 3:06 PM
it's just a mere poster. but the whole team's lives' depending on this damn poster.
and i can't be anymore mentally drained. and i haven't started on the logbook. o.m.g. i can't help it but am frantic about it. it's going to be another sleepless night today. and it's not helping when shaun cheng wants us to re-edit the whole poster with more information. i can't wait for Wednesday to be over but i need more time right now. |
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Friday, June 27, 2008, 12:13 PM
 It's a big messed up world - it's true full of pain and sorrows too believe the words that I say tomorrow will come - another day. For tonight - the day is done kick back and have another one close your eyes and hear me say tomorrow will come another day. free your mind but keep in line don't be late - when you pay tomorrow has come - for you today. i love you, girl. may you come back to your senses. poster's draft was rejected. now the team is really panicking. and the need to start rushing through another draft. and submit it by tomorrow night. evaluation's in about 5 days. and logbook's not done either. everything's falling apart. |
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, 12:13 AM
   specially ordered. with extra love, care, concern, laughter, lameness (extra extra for arieyanto) poster's roughly done. waiting for approval from shaun cheng. this project's expensive. the school better refund us back the money. no way am going to spend bucks on the freakin Kallang River. i'm so proud of you. i'll be with you. supporting you thru thick and thin. love. (: i'm so confused of what i want for myself. |
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 9:52 PM
the only motivation that got me out of bed, was the thought that i was going to meet you.
but my instincts were right. we didn't meet, for the third time in the row. and no, i don't blame you. i'm just upset. ok, more than upset. moving on. it was a long day today. Drug Discovery UT wasn't as bad. missing out five lessons didn't affect me that much as i expected. but i'm quite sure i screwed up yesterday's pharmacotheraphy. ut's over. now it's report and logbook!! here we go again!! STRESS period starts all over again. i'm making do with what i have. i'm happy with what i have. don't need much more including the drama. lastly, camwhoring session. pictures ahead ((:  she's my happy pill.the day doesn't go on without her.  comfy sofa :P nasri's middle finger is blocking rosey's flitered head. it's me. the one and only. random poses. don't ask why. this is the negative arieyanto.hehe. |
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Monday, June 23, 2008, 10:56 PM
just when you thought, you could take a slight break from the work load.
poster and uts' around the corner to kill you more. not forgetting, log book. i can feel myself panicking. more than usual. and it's not helping when the co-operation isn't there. there's so much to say. but i chose not to. cause, one day, you will realize that you are being a total bitch to people who treasure you. enough said. picture time. ((:     <3 |
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Sunday, June 22, 2008, 7:55 PM
 it's taking over me. jealousy is killing me slowly. with every ache. i keep my mouth shut, putting up a fake smile. i say it's okay, when really it's not. i'm thinking of nice thoughts, to help my mind fight. to help me fight through, cause i know that this feeling will fade. i'm switching on the ignore mode! i will not jealousy take over me! |
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Saturday, June 21, 2008, 1:33 AM
 it's proven, time changes everything. nothing will be the same always. for always changes happens. i yearn for all the good times we all had. i miss every single one of you. regardless, the hatred, the tension, the silence. i miss everything. it's easy to ignore for ignorance is bliss. but at the corner of the heart, it still hurts. if ever time heals back everything, i pray that we'll be what we used to be. |
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Friday, June 20, 2008, 3:03 PM
 god. i can't express how much i am feeling relieved today.like finally, after what seemed to be ages, i have submitted my final report. oh well, after all today is the deadline. so not much of a choice there. report's done. let's start slogging through the poster now. *go go K-TOWN* i know we can make it!! i feel delighted today. more than just happy. though i can't find the reason why. my body clock is totally screwed up. haven't been sleeping well. weirdly, i only manage to sleep around 4/5 a.m in the morning. and obviously one hour of sleep isn't sufficient enough to survive the whole day in school. thus, resulting in absence. it sucks to oversleep and miss school. i am so not proud to say that i only attended one day of school out of four days. and i very well know how dead i am if my parents found out. no matter what it takes, i am definitely going to drag myself to school from next week onwards. randomly, i really miss my handphone. it's sooo hard to survive without music on the to and fro journeys. you have to endure the noisy journey in the trains for nearly one hour, listening to inconsiderate people who speak for the whole cabin to hear. daddy, please return me the handphone. i promise to be good. finally, we caught Kung Fu Panda last Tuesday. all the swooshing and swishing. HAIIIIIYAAAK! really awesome.. a must catch movie. and lovely pizza indulgence. at last, i managed to satisfy my cravings. lunch with rosey. nasri. on thursday*love.love*  my one and only.
c.s you have been missed by us.  my flowerboy. nasri.
i'm craving for more right now!!
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Monday, June 16, 2008, 11:16 PM
Three Cheers for Haruna!
she has finally 'after ages of hard work' completed her G301 Final Year Project Report. and she's pretty satisfied with the outcome of her report. despite all the rubbish that was written down in the middle of the night. wheeee! =) |
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, 2:37 AM
there's school at 8.30 in the morning.
and it's 2.39am right now and am still awake. thanks to the dearest bitch, report. i can't express how much more i despise doing report. it's simply getting on my nerves. do i have a choice, no... i don't. i have to get it done by today. which means i need to totally forget about sleeping. focus. haruna. you can do it!! ((: moving on. wishing all the dads 'HAPPY FATHER'S DAY' it's a day late, nevertheless, my sincere wishes. sadly, i didn't wish my own dad on this very day. simply because i had no courage to face him after whatever that happened. neither did my brothers. we just acted like it was any other day. all of us ignoring each other, trying not to express that guilty feeling. however, we did give him a card with all our wishes written in there. i see no sign of the card anywhere around the house. maybe he burnt it or tore it. *i know. i think too much.* lately, i have been thinking too much. i know it for myself, i tend to be paranoid over the slightest issue. i can't stop myself from being this much of a paranoid. i still don't get why you sent me such a message. do you realise how much it would have hurt. hurting me once was more than enuff cause it had already shattered my heart into pieces. i won't be able to take more, pls leave me alone. how long more the slient treatment? |
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Saturday, June 14, 2008, 4:27 PM
 the very well-known superstition, friday the 13th brings you bad luck.
everything goes wrong on this day. i usually brush it off by laughing at the stupidity of people who believe in this. till yesterday. how can it be that someone stays happy for half of the day, and cries for the rest of the night. everything started off fine in the morning. went to school, had a fruitful FYP discussion. rushed to Plaza Sing to meet my friends to watch Narnia. spend the rest of the day with a certain friend till it was time to head back home. wasn't sure what got into me that made me smile to myself till i reached home. i knew that people around me were all staring at me. but i couldn't care less about what they thought of me. i was just too happy and couldn't stop myself from smiling. everything changed when i stepped into the house. i knew something was wrong the moment i stepped in. it's just one of the rare moments where the aura around the house tells you something very wrong had happened or is going to happen. true enough. the night ended on the wrong note. my handphone got confiscated. so as for my brothers' handphones too. more other issues that were raised and shall not be discussed here. i wish i could i just speak up and tell you. your assumptions are wrong. don't throw your words because you don't know what will happen in the future. you may think that i might abandon you just like that. you have mistaken and misjudged your own blood. if you think that it might happen, blame yourself that you haven't brought us up in the right way. for these 19 years, you have been my role model, i follow your footsteps and all you can say is that. i'll abandon you? i can't defend myself right now for all the words that you throw at me. i'll prove you wrong one fine day. trust me. it doesn't even hurt when you snatch the most dearest thing from me, but it kills when you vent out your anger with those words. i'll prove you wrong. i promise. period. there's only a week left for report submission and i have to almost re-do the whole report. this is seriously screwed up. if only there was a way to escape FYP, i would gladly do so. * |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008, 5:45 PM
 what have i gotten myself into? i'm feeling pretty lost right now. and it's all my fault. if only i had been more responsible. it may be the slightest issue to worry about but i ain't taking any risk here. i should have been more thoughtful. but no, apparently, i was stuck in my own 'perfect' world and now am worrying about facing the consequences. i don't want to be like this any longer. i have decided to switch to prepaid. and yes, i did weigh both the pros and cons. the extensive plus point. avoiding all the rants at the month end. on the other hand, i have to start saving up more. and i have also decided to pay up my own handphone bill - the full amount. it's only fair that i do cause i was the cause of it. not my parents. am supposed to be out right now, having dinner with my secondary school friends. i decided to be conscience-striken and stay home to repent. i hate this feeling. it makes my heart feel so heavy.
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Friday, June 6, 2008, 3:43 PM
holidays aren't the exact thing i need right now.
boredom has been getting out of hand, beyond description. i do nothing fruitful except rotting and stoning. *note to self: when you look back at this entry two weeks later, you are going to find it extremely absurd for stating this* and a little bit of housework here and there. in attempt to help my mum. desperately need to work on the report, but i refuse to. simply there's no motivation to even take a look at it. i intend to go slog on the report after this entry. hopefully i get something done. moving on, i blew my handphone bill to the extremes. so much that my dad hasn't spoke a word to me since he saw the bill. i can foresee. my handphone being confiscated or me switching to prepaid. and a whole lot of lecture and nagging. i promise to myself henceforth i will never make unnecessary calls to anyone. oh and i can't wait for the picnic on monday. really looking forward to the little get together. whee! i know it's going to be fun. =) *amalina, i hope you can get your ass down* && i can't wait to watch Kung Fu Panda as well with nasri. i can totally imagine nasri going 'WHAT THE ****' in the cinema. to those who haven't caught Indiana Jones, please do. it's awesome except the part where they have those huge ass red ants crawling on to the people. on a random note. i miss school.i miss my friends. reminder to self. - collect ez-link card. drag nasri along. - buy a bag for school purposes. - get something done to my hair before school starts. |
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Monday, June 2, 2008, 3:18 AM
i'm not sure when was the last time i posted an entry.
i try to keep up with the posts but usually end up stoning, losing the train of thoughts. a great deal of stage performance which caused much heartbreaks. the tears that were uncalled-for. so much to erase from the history. FYP hasn't been going well. totally clueless on where to begin. meeting c.s, nasri, shakthee for a site visit later at 11am. somehow, i can't wait to see them. to whine, to laugh at the most stupidest lame jokes they crack, to spew all the vulgarities upon seeing nasri's face. nasri, like we told each other, slap me if i ever tell you i need some space. cause i wouldn't know what i'd do without you guys. loving you guys like a thousand roses and chocolates wouldn't be enough. am very unsure if you would get this message but i want you to know. you don't want us to bother you, so we aren't bothering you. throw all the words you want, cause at the end of the day, you still don't realise how much you have hurt the people you called friends. nevertheless, we are still here for you, when you cry. when you laugh. how do you fill up that missing chapter in your life? |