i wish i could survive just one day without your calls and your messages.


i'm not quite sure what's happening.

i'm a happy girl today.
because. i met my secondary school darlings for dinner after a long long time.
ate super a lot of food. satisfied my craving for bbq stingray.
and had a crazy camwhore session.

a few pictures taken from my handphone.
shall upload the some other pictures once marilyn has uploaded them.

C+ is not what my work is worth. i deserve better. =(

i wonder if you know how you make me feel.
cause the feelings is beyond any explanation and description.
your random messages never fails to leave me smiling all the time.
i care less of the surrounding.

at the end of each day, i realize i'm falling for you more.
and i don't want to stop falling for you ever.

on any other normal Mondays, i wouldn't have bothered to get off my bed.
i would have just decide to skip school and sleep till 2/3 in the noon. because Monday are doom days, quoted by nasri at 7.30 in the morning. anyways, the most important achievement of today. i woke up at 5.20am and left my house at 6.10am. amazing isn't it. my mum was so amused. yeap, so, i met siva at redhill then made our way to woodlands. had MacDonald's breakfast before going to school and him to camp. i reached class at 8.25am, another achievement, it's been long since i was early to school.

i'm sorry if i was late or delayed you from going to camp, siva. i have issues with keeping up with the time. i'm trying to change this habit. && i loved seeing you in the morning. hope for more breakfasts to come. (:

both nasri and rosey were not in school today.
spent break times with both cs and nessa. (and sherilyn for the first break)
nasri dropped by during the first break to plan for chalet, which wasn't fruitful at all. cause we ended up planning who's sleeping in which room with who. and i don't want the hall okay. a small room is more than enough for me. =P you'll see my signature marks on the walls of that small room.

class was totally mind-numbing. i had difficulties keeping myself awake towards the end of the day. i hate today's module as well as the facilitator. although she's pretty and has a very nice accent, i still hate her. cause she gives me C all the time despite how much i contribute and participate.

after school, i gave in to temptations. thanks, nessa. we are running extra 3 rounds for all the intake today! we went to gelare because nessa wanted happy food. it's happy yet sinful food. the chocolate oreo milkshake, ice-cream waffles. orgasmic, seriously! it makes you feel like you are in heaven.


went to shop for books at Popular after having ice-cream. and yeap, then we headed back home cause both nessa and i were very worn out and also to stop nessa from spending anymore money.

200th post *claps for myself*

pardon me for my random mood swings for the past two days. i haven't got a clue why i have been like that.
*i'm sorry lizzy for over-reacting over a small issue. i guess i should have taken it lightly.*

pretty much a boring day. did nothing fruitful except for sleep and eat.
on a random note. i've been craving for seoul garden and bbq stingray and satay (thanks to sarah, she reminded me) and i badly want to go shopping for a black dress and new heels. i'm planning to drag rosey, nessa and sarah next month. it'll be a girls' day out. =D && i love my friends.

***
I cannot help but fall, for the caress of the wind pushes me off my feet.
I cannot help but want to fall, for those words are what i want to hear.

Being led to the edge by the hand of my greatest weakness,
and jumping to the ghost of whats below.
Jumping with Hope, and abandoning the knowledge of time.
Jumping into insanity.

I cannot help but fall, for the dream of your flesh makes me collapse.
I cannot help but fall for you pull me towards you,
And i cannot help but want to fall for just one glimpse of your eyes.

I cannot help but what to fall, for what i want is you.







i love the way you leave me speechless with just a few words.
it leaves nothing but just a smile on my face.

i can't stop my tears flowing. the tears are rolling down my cheeks apparently for reason at all. i don't know what has gotten into me. there's no explanation why this feeling has overcome me. I'm scared. afraid. feeling insecure. a fear of losing everything, everyone around me. like how it always happens. this is the first. the first time, I'm crying for no reason. i knew i was feeling happy just awhile ago and the next thing now, I'm scared. i can't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.

I'm afraid I'm falling too hard for you.

I'm going crazy.

friday was a pretty long day. i left home at 7 in the morning and returned home nearly at 11. so that makes it 16 hours away from home. anyways, i didn't attend class cause i followed nessa to UOB to open an account. before heading to the bank, we had MacDonald's breakfast. sinful yet delicious. we thought that UOB opens around 8 plus, sadly we were cheated. it only opens at 9.30am. thanks, nasri. you could have told us earlier because you knew. but no. you didn't. thanks. we killed time by bumming around Coffee Bean. Coffee Bean has very comfortable sofas. I almost fell asleep. then, we found out nessa couldn't open an account without a student pass so we travelled to school to get a letter of certification and back to UOB.

then, met siva. followed him to get his oreo donuts that he was craving for. actually, i don't really understand what's so orgasmic about the donuts. headed back to school and was rotting there till 4. i totally have no confidence in today's test. i was stoning for about 15 mins before typing some rubbish.

had a mini get-to-gether after school with a friend whom i thought i would never speak to ever again. i could feel the tension in the air which almost faded towards the end. i missed her but i think my ego gives me no place to be normal ever again. i'm trying though.

met lizzy and siva. yes again. for a movie at Jurong. Prom night, not as great as I expected it to be. but it definitely has a little of the thrilling moments.

that's all. that was the day.

life has been unexpectedly good for the past few days and am loving it. endless of laughter, smiles, corny jokes, mushy lines. i don't want this to end. i love the way am living my life now.

i have never laughed so much in any point of my life before. i laughed till my stomach, jaws hurt and my eyes started tearing. lunch time was splendid with the usual darlings, nasri. cs. rosey. classic chopstick moments that cracked all of us up. i must emphasize, rosey's laughter is super contagious. her laughter itself is enough to make us go bonkers. cs, don't mess around with rosey, she will throw two chopsticks at you. then back in class, there wasn't any presentation today. we played two games instead. the first one was solving the riddles, the second was called the broken telephone which was totally hilarious. everyone was at each corner of the room going hysterical. shamala literally dropped and rolled around while laughing. so cute! class has never been this fun before, if it stays this way, i will gladly attend school everyday. not to mention how much siva nagged just to get me to school today.

it's actually quite amazing that i managed to be hyper throughout the day at school. usually, the lack of sleep would have caused me to be grouchy and snappy. today was just different. i felt different myself. i kept smiling to myself, thinking about stuff and reading messages. my team mate sitting beside me was rather intimidated due to my mysterious behavior today. i'm feeling too happy, i care less about what people think.

plans for chalet has started, although we are still debating if we should have a chalet within Singapore or out of the country, in this case the furthest we can go will be 'sentosa'. speaking of which, i'm quite sure my dad would disapprove the idea of having a chalet at sentosa cause it's too far away from home and his vulnerable daughter might get lost/kidnapped or just get herself into some mischief. the second issue would be, the chalet will be held during the hungry ghost festival, so nessa feels that changi is way too haunted and she's doesn't like the aura around there. thus, leaving us with downtown east or east coast. let's get decided on something soon please. i WANT to have a chalet!!

im skipping first meeting tomorrow to accompany nessa to the bank to get her atm card done. we'll be having mac breakfast in the morning as well. so much for all the diets and exercising. i know. i know.



you make me smile without even trying and i love it. okay so, i'm feeling very jealous about your 'new' admirer and whatnot. i want to be the one and only. it's not possessiveness, it's just a sign of wanting you for myself.



when a GIRL says "i miss you". No one in this world can miss you more than that.
i miss you, sweetheart.

there's isn't much to update.
but i'm updating because nasri has been nagging at me all day long.
so here it is.

the same old life with the same old routine. skipped school yesterday due to various reasons.
dinner at mac with both my brothers was delightful. it was the bonding session. each of us shared a few stories regarding school, friends. i find it cute when my brothers go..'so do you have a boyfriend, tell me tell me, who is he..' and the way they both go, 'you are already 19, it's time you settled down, you're getting old'. no matter how much of a pain they both can be, they never fail to plant a smile on my face. i hope for more dinners to come.

today was one very hectic day. seriously, doing those house chores makes me feel very drained out. i managed to vacuum the house, mop the house as well. i think i'll make a good house wife except for the cooking part. cause i can't cook for nuts. speaking of which, i owe some people my cooking. i'm still learning how to cook the rice, be patient people, i'm almost there. =D


i feel happy to know where we stand right now. although, i wish we could be more, but time isn't right yet. i shall wait till it is and eternally bless the day I can call you mine.

okay. random stuff ahead.

for starters. i'm so happy that i got back my handphone.
so yeap, everyone please start contacting me at my old number.
finally, i have some music to save me on the journeys to and fro from school.

nothing exciting or new happened today. same old same old.
woke up around 2 after hearing much of my mum's nagging.
had lunch, helped to clean the house. cleaned my room.
yet to clear up the mess in my wardrobe. i should get it done this Wednesday.
am having loads of difficulties finding some clothes.
got ready to go for dinner at this Indonesian Restaurant near Plaza Singapura.
dinner was really good, so as the family bonding. everyone was laughing away, cracking silly jokes.
it makes me feel good when i see everyone in my family happy.
that was it, the day.

tomorrow back to school. same old routine.
there's lab as well. the good part of school is there's breaks and there's only roughly 3 weeks left for the semester to end. i simply can't wait. =D





so i kinda sorta maybe like him alot more than i had originally planned.

our G301 FYP Poster has been chosen to be displayed on Environmental Technology Day on 10^th September. don't ask me what is 'environmental technology day'. have not heard a word about this day before. are we that good or what? hahaha. oh yes, am sure the team did well. am so proud of myself and the team and also for Shaun Cheng to entrust me with poster filling-up. nice. i'm quite confident that the team's going to do awesome for G301 as well as G302. provided things stays as it was the last time. deadline's on the 31st September. time to start cracking the brain again. =)

the number of people who do not cherish the people who care for them and treasure them has increasingly dropped in the recent times. why cause. apparently they think, these friends who value them aren't as important or should i say aren't considerate and supportive enough. times have changed. anymore distance between us, you'll be a closed chapter in my life. fading memories. there's not much i can say or do but i miss you. i miss the fun times we all had together.

i'm sick. very sick.
i've been sneezing since the time i woke up and i don't seem to stop.
my nose seriously hurts a lot and i think i'm running a temperature as well. my eyes are so watery that it's starting to annoy me.
i hate being sick. ouh, and i spread my flu to a few people in my class.
i see one of my classmate sitting in front of me sneezing away as well.

lesson today is such a bore. or maybe it's just me, i haven't been doing anything except for chatting, reading online stories and sleep. i fell asleep on my laptop and none of my teammates bothered to wake me up for the 3rd meeting. how considerate can people get?! oh well, not that the facilitator seemed bothered. thanks to nessa darling, i feel quite alive after seeing this hot, steamy promo picture of Gossip Girl Season 2. it's going to be screened this September. nate and serena....... OMG! i seriously can't wait. hot stuff =D



yesterday's story.
class wasn't as bad as expected.
so as the exercise session with my dearies. it went well.
much better than tuesday. we all did well.
way to go Rosey!! we can do it together (:



on a random note.
i hate people who don't reply to my messages as soon as possible. i hate waiting.

as usual. nothing special on a Wednesday.
awfully boring.
all i did was to eat and sleep.
i woke up just in time for lunch.
lunch was fantastic today, prepared by both my dad and grandma.
sinful yet delicious.
then i went back to sleep, woke up for dinner.
i was pigging out today.

tomorrow it's back to fruits diet and exercise routine. =)



i want you to want me.

there's a sense of satisfaction.
there's happiness.
i really feel happy today, for real.

i didn't attend class today cause i could wake up. although i slept quite early compared to the day before. went to school to get the test done. like finally UT 3 is over! 4 more weeks of school and holidays here i come. on second thought, holidays won't be enjoyable or stress free cause of FYP. so, Kallang, here i come again. anyways, we need to plan for chalet, clubbing and what nots. start saving money, guys.

anyways, UT sucked. cause i didn't understand what they were asking for. whoever who sets the test should use simple english, like seriously. why beat around the bush. damn those facilitators.

after the test, we moved out of school as soon as possible. walked all the way to nasri's place so that he can go back home to bring nessa and cs, a pair of socks and shorts respectively. then we made our way to the stadium to lose some pounds. omg. i'm so unfit, like seriously. working out after 3 damn years. hopefully on thursday, i won't be that rusty. on the other hand, thanks guys, for motivating me. seriously, i know with only self-motivation, i will end up no where. nasri, you suck with your counting. pfffttt! =P

after exercising, made plans to meet siva near his place. actually, i realised we are quite aimless when we decide to meet up. went all the way to Great World City to eat MacDonalds. yes.yes. I know! eating mac after all those exercise isn't a great help here. i give in to cravings and temptations quite easily. can't blame me. anyway, so after eating dinner, went all the way back to redhill to take a cab back home. i was mean. i made him spend time with me despite knowing he was sick. mister was really whiny and grouchy today, but it was cute seeing him whine away. i enjoy being around him, despite him being whiny, grouchy and all those stupid stuff he can come up with. it only makes me want to crack up and ruffle his hair. and so much for abusing me. it still hurts.






i am perfectly happy being his friend. in fact i love it.
i just have this incredible urge to kiss him. that doesn't go away.
and this feeling that we would be perfect together.

i'm stoning in class and am having random moments.

random conversation with vanan.
and the masterpiece of the one and only pwune (it's me, the nickname vanan gave me!)i draw way better than him. ((: and i think it's really really cute.
just like mua.

right, almost 4 in the morning and am not sleeping.
there's school and most importantly, a test after school.

i'm not prepared. i didn't study cause i couldn't put my mind to it. i was too distracted thinking about everything else under the sun except for my test. i'm feeling so lost about where am going to be after my diploma. to be exact, i don't know what i want in life. i wish i never had to grow up, it would have been much better being a baby or a toddler where you are in your own happy lala land. you don't have to make choices, you don't have to differentiate the right from the wrong. mostly you wouldn't have to hear your parents telling you..'do what you think is right cause i know and i trust that whatever you do is for the best'. but we all know, it's not possible. everyone has to go through this. life isn't easy. it isn't fair either. moreover, am starting to stress out when all my relatives start to ask me what i have planned to do in life. i feel like screaming in their face 'i have no fucking idea' but i can't. why cause, then they'll look down on me, my parents and start bitching about everything that's not true. so i put on a fake confident smile and tell them a rough plan, deep inside i know i'm still confused.

moving on. nasri.cs.nessa.rosey. and i have planned out an exercise schedule. the guys are training for their fitness test and us, girls to be fit and look nice. i feel so motivated knowing that my friends are all there to motivate me. =) thanks guys.


i wasted half an hour of my life listening to you blabber lies after lies. i don't really care about what you say or explain. cause things aren't going to change. i'm not taking a split second to think about turning back. i've moved on and i've erased you from my mind and heart. there's someone else dear and worthy in my mind and heart. i'm happy to know you are happy seeing the message. you don't have to apologize for who you are cause i like you for who you are despite all your characteristics. although it scares me sometimes, i don't feel threatened by it, it just makes me want to be there and tell you everything will be fine. and the girl whom you like is assuring you she only wants to be with you and noone else. if ever things change, i wont hesitate to tell you. i.miss.you.





and life continues. tomorrow will be a better day.

i feel sleepy but i can't sleep cause my cramps are killing me.

things don't seem to be the same as what it used to be.
i'm feeling confused and i don't know how to react. i try to be normal but my thoughts and emotions are allowing me to be.

random conversations with my cousin dropped a few thoughts into my mind.
they will be who they are. they don't know what it is to be in our shoes.
there's no point talking about things that will never change even in the next thousand years to come. they will be who they are.

the directions are changing.
the conversations are like magnets attracting me. i'm not going to fall into the trap again.
i'm staying strong.


we're are just silly girls who fall for stupid boys.

a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation.
b) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you've finished answering every question.

1. The age you'll be on your next birthday:













2. A place you'd like to travel to:













Venice.

3. Your favourite place:











certainly my room doesn't look like this but i love my room!

4. Your favourite food:










curry chicken lovers ((:

5. Your favourite animal:










6. Your favourite color:


7. Your favourite piece of clothing:













8. Your favourite song:



zara zara touch me - Race

9. Your favourite TV show:










10. First name of your significant other/crush:













11. The town in which you live in:










12. Your screen name/nickname:





13. Your first job:













telemarketer ((: actually my first job was data entry. same same. still attend calls, stone infront of computer.

14. Your dream job:













to be a rich man's wife ((:

15. A bad habit you have:









there's a profanity in every single sentence! =(

16. Your worst fear:





the feat of losing someone i love.

17. The one thing you'd like to do before you die:









travel to countries with ancient ruins and histories

18. The first thing you'll buy if you get $1,000,000:









a house by the beach ((:




there, finally am done!! anymore tag to do any survey. the person will receive a smack in the face. this is tiring and mind-wrecking!!