the plans to do report with shakthee today was unsuccessful. thanks to praveena. cause she lured us to the dark side with alcohol.

we went to little india to get my threading done. the lady was so rough with my eyebrows that she left marks and it hurts till now. urgh. after threading we went to have late lunch. lunch wasn't too bad although i didn't get to eat the briyani i wanted.

then we headed down to kallang to drink. the drinks there are really cheap. we found a nice comfortable place at a playground and we finished half a bottle. hopefully shakthee safeguards the remaining half.

i feel a little light-headed right now. and am hitting bed soon.

i promise myself to get the report done tomorrow. (: and daddy doesn't allow me to attend shamini's birthday party cause it's at some secluded place. time to start begging!


i love you. and i can't wait to see you, baby.

i've been trying to work on the report the whole day. but it's still as stagnant as it was yesterday. no improvements. and i doubt there'll be any for today. lack of focus.

thanks to all these withdrawal symptoms i'm suffering from because i haven't seen my boyfriend. i'm not over-exaggerating here. truthfully, it feels like ages although it has only been weeks.

and yeap, it's me. i made an issue out of nothing just cause i missed him. i feel really stupid for it right now. i should have known better. but it's just me, i can't help it. i'm really really thankful that he understands and things are okay now. so we made a deal. we'll see each other once in 2 weeks. so i get the rights to start bugging him when the 2 weeks are near to end. i won't ask for more. i'm happy (: && i hate the fact i love him so much that i can't stay angry. that one message meant everything at that moment.

sivashankar, i love you more than any word can say. i love you more than every action i take. i'll be right here loving you till the end, forever.

to add on to the happy moment. my dad gave me a hundred dollar note. =D it's my deepavali money!!! belated deepavali money!!! wheee! but sadly. i think i'll just use it to pay my handphone bill. i'm kinda worried that my dad's going to pull away my phone next month, thanks to the increasing bill. :(

hopefully, tomorrow when i meet shakthee, i'll be able to get some work done. and school's starting on monday. noooo!.. i don't want to go back to school. i've already planned to skip school on tuesday. :P planning ahead is good.






all i want is to grow old with him.

deep down it hurts sometimes, no matter how much i tell myself it's fine. i try to keep it all within myself but it's hard. i too have my little desires.

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.



before i sleep and after i wake up and all the hours in between... you occupy my mind. so, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.

Happy Deepavali to All My Loved, Precious Ones. May the years to come bring joy, prosperity and the very best to you and your families.

okay, firstly it feels like any other day, any other NORMAL day. i don't feel the festive mood. i slept at three in the morning and woke up at 6.30am. so all i want to do now is cuddle up in my cozy bed and doze off. unfortunately, my mum's very against it. is there like some rule that you can't sleep on this auspicious day. ridiculous. there's so much of food, yet i don't feel hungry. blahhhhh.

i hear my brothers' young and annoying friends shouting in the hall. noisy!!!
i'm waiting for veena and khatijah to arrive right now so that i'll have some entertainment for myself.

to add on to the rants...
i miss my boyfriend. i want to be with him on this day. just a random need.
i love you so very much, sivashankar.

i've got the world's best daddy =) ok, ask me why? cause my dad loves me and he gets me everything i want. maybe not everything but yes, most of it. and today he bought me 3 pairs of heels from Charles & Keith, plus a lifetime membership with Charles & Keith. i also got myself two pairs of three-quarter pants and one top. that's about it. i didn't spend much. thanks to the little time we had and also thanks to the flu i'm down with. my nose freaking hurts right now. it's so sore due to all the sneezing. haiz.

and no sweetheart, i didn't spend much like i did for my diwali shopping. it was much much much lesser than any of my shopping spree. i don't expect you nor want you to pamper me with materialistic items in the future. i'll be a reasonable girlfriend. =P

attention FYP team:- time to start slogging on report and we'll be crashing rosey's house this wednesday. =)


i'm missing you like crazy.

there's like 2 more days to deepavali and the preparations are almost done. finally there's a little spirit to celebrate the festive season but i can sense the fever kicking in. i cannot be falling sick at this point of time. it's not fair, i say! my nose hurts big time from all the sneezing and i'm half way through to finishing a box of tissue. so by now, everyone should have guessed by now. yes, i skipped school again. blah. i don't really care anymore.

it's the start of the holidays today. one week of no school. it doesn't really make a difference though. there's report to be completed. we'll all be crashing rosey's house to do the report together. hopefully, we get some work done. when the girls get together, there's always some form of digression. let's not even start about the guys. they are way, way out of hand.

and finally, i got the results done for the water samples. now i have to start filling up the logbook. you know, the river is like extremely polluted!! the figures are massively scary.

shopping later with daddy. whee!!




my boyfriend's the sweetest thing.

he made this for me. it may not be something expensive, grand. it may not be something materialistic. yet it's still so beautiful. all that matters and counts is only your love and nothing else. it doesn't matter what people do or say. you'll always be mine (:

i love you babyboy.

before i even start off ranting. the day was totally fucked up. and when i mean fucked up, it was literally screwed up big time.

we had our field trip in the morning which was pointless because some 'considerate' people decided to steal/use our nutrients. we lost one and a half bag of nutrients, so now we can't carry on with our lab work and we are left with only two results to work with. so much of hard work that we put in and the results are screwed up effortlessly. we've got no idea how to average the results now and how do we submit the reports.

&& to fucking make it worse. my temporary logbook with all my results is missing. i have no idea where is it or who it is with. i really hope it's not lost or i'll definitely feel guilty till the day i die. it'll be my fault if the book is gone.

i don't think i'll be able to have a good night sleep tonight. i hope those toots who stole our nutrients will have a hard time during their FYP presentations.

and there's a test tomorrow. legislation to be exact. i've no idea what to study and what not to.






a constant shower of love?

it's one of those days where you feel exceptionally lost for no apparent reasons. you need someone to pick you up and tell you everything will be fine. i don't have the slightest clue about this feeling when everything seems in place.

and my best friend ditched me, leaving me hanging in the air with vague or no answers at all. for once, won't she be happy for me. why do i always have to go through this over and over again. aren't friends supposed to help you make things work and not ruin your life. i'm getting sick and tired of how this friendship works. i wonder how she fails to realize she keeps hurting me with simple words.

on a happy note. my dad's back and he bought chocolates. =) am so glad to have him back home. now i'll hear my mum nag much lesser, the food will be good.


just one day, just you and me.
miss you.

nasri's open house was a success. everyone turned up, including praveena. her last minute invitation. and shaun (nasri's friend), he's pretty friendly so is bam bam (nasri's friend). we all seem to click along very well although we have never seen or talked before. not to mention, the way shaun talks reminds veena and myself of siva. just that siva is the more indian version compared to shaun being the more sophisicated version. not much pictures taken but i'll definitely post the few that we took.

so back to school tomorrow. turn off number 1: pharm chem. turn off number 2: lab lesson. that means school's going to be extra extra horrible tomorrow. and do i have a choice? no. because i've skipped too many times and if am ever going to skip anymore lessons, RP will gladly kick my ass out of the campus. so will my parents and boyfriend. maybe i should start counting down the days to graduation. then i might feel slightly better about being in school.

oh, and the school sent me two messages about bring a thermometer along to school for some epidemic preparation. kind of ridiculous, i thought these stuff ended with primary and secondary school.

now, i can't wait for nessa's birthday celebration on the 7th of november. party, booze. whee!






life's never certain. it's all about 'what if's'. what we have today, we may not have it tomorrow. nothing comes permanent either. so why worry about the future. make do with the present and make it work. for all you know, we may never wake up to see the morning tomorrow. what's meant to be will be meant to be.








day by day, the love grows a little more.
i'm missing you.

i can never seem to get enough of my boyfriend. although i saw him last night, today morning. right now, my mind keeps wandering off to think only about him and how much i miss him. the more he's in my mind, the more i want him. can't i just get married right now, then i wouldn't have to stay away from him.

okay, i'm getting all mushy and lovey. cs, says it's fine cause it's heavenly to be in love. =)

i'm so hyped up that i got rosey hyper over the msn too. she called me her happy pill. little does she know, my day isn't complete without seeing her.

lalala. ok, this post is random due to my hyper-random-miss my boyfriend-mood.

i love you baby.

i'm loving you. a little more each day. i don't think this love will ever fade away.
your assurance, your love.. it's more than enough to keep me surviving. i don't need anything more than this.

The only thing I want is to be in love with you to spend a lifetime just hearing you speak the words that captivate me. I only want to forget the world forget everything I've ever known. The only thing I want is to be in love with you to watch each day pass by like seconds on a clock that never runs.

iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.
iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.
iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.
iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.
iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousivashankar.iloveyousoverymuch. <3

it's been an extremely long day today. spent half the day at kallang fishing for samples and then back at school to do the lab work. this damn project is draining the energy out of me as well as the money. not like i have much money left to survive for the rest of the month. i think i've only have 20 bucks left. and i don't think i'll be paid for the FYP stuff that i bought any time soon. if only shaun cheng wouldn't be an ass and return me the money, i'll be able to survive without bothering anyone. not to mention, rosey's super broke too, so we are supporting each other.

tomorrow will be another visit to kallang again. looking on the bright side, it's just one site that we need to collect the water from, then head back to school and get the work done fast and go home!!! i'm going to miss all these field trips when school ends. random, i know.

two more field trips and back to late nights doing the report. can't wait for the holidays. i just need one whole day of good night sleep to catch up on all those sleepless nights.

&& Oh yes, finally!! my dad got me the man utd scarf from Old trafford. i think. the point is i've got the scarf. yipee!!






a sudden outburst of mixed feelings, i can't seem to control these feelings and put them back to where they belong. it doesn't feel right to feel confused, to feel insecured, to feel happy, to feel sad.




did i tell you? i miss you. and i want to see you.

the leo system actually missed out the test that we were having today. fantastic right?! so much for a school system. we ended up doing the test on paper, and it was much much tougher to pen the answers down. i was literally scribbling the answers down. now to think back, i don't think my handwriting is legible. to make it worse, i didn't complete the last question. now that the test's done, let's wait and see how's the end results.

deep down, this insecurity in me is killing me softly. i try to be optimistic, thinking nothing at all but it doesn't work that way. as much as i'm happy, that little fear kills me bit by bit.

on a random note. i've a list of things that i need to get when i go on my little shopping spree with my mum this weekend.
- 2 traditional outfits to wear for deepavali
- matching bangles, accessories
- heels, preferably from charles and keith ( the one nessa picked out for me this afternoon)
&& lastly a short trip to bugis village. (:

&& there's nasri's 'open house' to attend on sunday. shakthee and i have planned to wear saree, green coloured ones. school's closing in a week.. shakthee wants to club during that one week break, so i need to save up money for that.

and 8 more days for daddy to return home. won't the time pass any faster than this?

i should be in bed right now cause i'm feeling cranky and tired, but i'm waiting for boyfriend's call. i think he's out exploring the haunted block in his camp. simply because i miss him, i miss his voice. even a thousand words wouldn't be enough to tell you how much you mean to me.

today was pretty much a lazy, unfruitful day. woke up around 10 to visit rosey at her new house. her house is really beautiful and cozy and the best part is she only stays a road away from my place. this means i can crash her house anytime i want. of course i'll leave her alone in the night. i really hope she turns up to school tomorrow, i've got so much to tell her. my personal walking diary. after seeing rosey's new house, i'm so tempted to get a house of my own. a small cozy house to live in. it'll be sweet.

before veena ran off, abandoning me to see her boyfriend, we made use of rosey's new facilities to capture a few pictures. it's a pity rosey couldn't join us as she had to entertain her guests.





daddy left for his business trip this morning. and the house doesn't seem to be the same without him. 9 more days, he'll be back. hopefully time will fly fast these 9 days. i miss my daddy.



imissyou sivashankar. so very much.
love you. *kisses*

the weather's being an official bitch. i've showered three times since the time i came home and i'm still feeling stuffy. i need to be in an enclosed air-conditioned room to survive this crappy weather.

anyways, i had tons of fun yesterday with siva, veena and shalini. shalini's siva's best friend and she's nice, funny. we spent the night drinking, playing cards, mostly just talking abt everything which isn't fruitful. shalini left the place around 2, siva sent her off and returned with one more bottle of vodka. i only managed to take one sip from the second bottle and my head started feeling heavy. veena and siva did the honors of finishing half the bottle by playing cards. the loser had to drink so veena ended up drinking most of the time. we went to bed around 4. and siva made us dance for the comforter. the last thing i remember was stoning away and falling deep into sleep, waking up at 6 to send siva off to camp. then veena and i woke up ard 9. we ate the leftover mee goreng which was cold and tasteless, not like we had much of a choice. then we ended up finishing the left over vodka, by then veena was suffering from a bad headache. we left for home and i reached home at 12.15. and i've been stoning around since then.

i had loads of fun, we only missed out on the pictures. i'm sure when we gather the next time, it'll be much better =)

i can't seem to sleep although i feel extremely tired and wrecked. my body's aching too. i think it's time to hit the bed. i'll be attending rosey's 'open house' tomorrow. can't wait to see her. i miss her.



it feels like my world revolves around you. and i want it to be that way. (:

yipee! finally my hair is done. although i'm quite unhappy about the end result. now, i'm wondering if i should spend a little more to get my fringe done. i can already foresee the reactions of my parents when i tell them this. so i'll have to save up and get it done myself.

i've got no motivation to go to school later, simply because rosey won't be in school. which means i have noone to travel with to and fro from school. && i'll be spending tomorrow night with siva and praveena. can't wait!! can't wait (:

i love you baby boy.
*hugs and kisses*

i skipped school yet again. because i was lazy, tired and couldn't get my ass out of bed. and i don't feel guilty about it. and i've got a boyfriend who nags quite a bit like my mum because i wasn't in school, because i can't cook, iron and do house chores, and because i haven't changed my number. so, i made promises to be in bed sleeping by 12 and to be in school all four days and change my number by next week.

anyways, yesterday was praveena's 21st birthday. so i wasn't in school yesterday either cause i went to the temple with her in the morning, leaving rosey to roam around chinatown to find the kind of chocolate cake veena wanted. then we made our way to vivo to have lunch at thai express (veena's treat) and watch 'The House Bunny'. siva was late, so he didnt catch the first bit of the show. and then we were just hanging around vivo, making fools out of ourselves, talking rubbish. after which, siva and i made our way to mount faber. there's this beautiful bridge there, i never knew such a thing existed here in Singapore.

on a separate note, i'm finally going to get my hair done on thursday. i'll be chopping of a few inches and get it straight again. then, clubbing with siva and praveena on friday night. and daddy's flying off to london on october 12, he'll be back on the 21st.

lastly, pictures from yesterday. =)

ilovehim.

i feel like i'm the most happiest girl on earth right now. finally it feels like everything is falling in its place now. every word uttered only leaves a smile on my face. i'm loving it. =P

attended my dad's friend's son's 21st birthday party eariler in the evening. his parents awarded him with a certificate for being officially 21. something different and rather cute. he can now go around saying, i'm certified 21 and legal. i want my certificate too!! i want to be legal, i want to be married, i want to live in my own house with him. ok, i know, extremely random but it's a sudden craving kind of thing.


i want to live my life with you, forever. cause when i'm with you every second seems blissful.
i don't need a proposal to be yours cause i'm already all yours (:
iloveyoubaby.

in your absence, my heart grows stronger. in your presence, i fall in love again.
you hold the key to my heart, simply.

iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.
iloveyousivashankar.

it was a god damn long day today. from 9 to 5, literally like any other school day, except that the first half of the day was spent at Kallang River. nasri, cs and i were fishing for water samples from five different sites. shaun cheng can't get any more unreasonable. it's really REALLY tiring by the time we reached school, we were all like dead chickens. managed to get 39 petri dishes done before rosey reached lab. so proud of ourselves (: ya'll can find me rotting at kallang for the next two weeks, every wednesdays and thursdays. how much more depressing can this get!

after FYP, the whole group including nessa and nasri's gf went to have dinner at causeway. it's been sometime since we had such a gathering. nevertheless, time hasnt changed anything. still same old lame jokes that cracks all of us up.

i'm in one of those random mood to kidnap rosey and veena and bring them far, far away to live with me.

that's all. i am tired. i am restless. my head hurts. i should get to bed since i need to be up early tomorrow.




in all my life, i've never found what i couldn't resist, what i couldn't turn down.
i could walk away from anything i've ever known, but i can't walk away from you.
loving the most special boy ((:

so yeap, i wasn't in school for the past three weeks. i skipped my thursday and friday lessons, i attended mondays lessons half-way. despite the absence, i managed to do both my pharm. chem and legislation test. i'm at least hoping for a C, not that i studied much to pass with flying colours. i ended up stoning trying to study. && my pharm. chem facilitator taught her last lesson last friday. and yes!! i won't have to see her face anymore. which means, i'll be attending more of pharm. chem lessons. hopefully.

&& my best friend is turning 21 next monday. and i have no idea why i'm getting excited. rosey and i have decided to spend the day with her, the least that we can do. hopefully siva turns up. and no worries veena, i promise you a beautiful day and a cake!! ((: whee!! also, on the 11th of October, we're going clubbing since veena has never stepped into a club in her 21 years of life.

then, there's FYP which seems to be stagnant with no improvements. why, apparently because the team is too lazy. we postponed yesterday's FYP meeting due to plain laziness. so we called shaun cheng and lied that CS was down with fever and it was raining at Kallang when it was actually a beautiful sunny day. thus, tomorrow, nasri, cs and i will have to do the sampling and then go back to school to do the lab work with rosey and shakthee. by the way, tomorrow is a no school day for us. also, we need to start working on the report since the due date's on november 14.

last but not least.
Happy Children's Day!! to everyone *we are still child at heart*
&& SELAMAT HARI RAYA ADILFITRI!! i want kueh kueh, nasri!!!!





I dont need to be your everything. I just want to be something to you
I Love you more than beyond a reason why.
I miss you a little, sweetheart. a little too much, a little too often,
and a little more each day.