a hungry girl is an angry girl!~!!!

my expenses building up as the day goes by. and my handphone bill tops all of it. i miss getting my allowance. ): urgh, ****!!!

i miss sivashankar.

i'm so blank right now, i can't even convey the message right.

lingering thoughts. it kills as usual...

sometime since the last update, i know. it's not that am busy or whatsoever. just plain laziness. and yes, pretty much a lot of things that have happened. i kind of forgot half of it already. i'm getting old. this is sad. therefore, am only going to mention things that deserve the attention.

School! yes yes, by now everyone should have known. i'm going back to school for every wednesdays. i attended my very first day of school; luckily valli has school on wednesdays too. if not for her presence, it's going to be so dreadful. i agree, class wasn't that bad. they've put me in a class filled with year two's, a few year three's and two repeat students. myself and a malay guy. my team mates are nice people too. i hope it stays this way for the rest of the 14 weeks. the facilitator, she's those type who seems lenient on the outside but actually is strict. oh oh, and i lied throughout my RJ. cause it was regarding depression. and it was a pretty long one in a very long time too. do you know, now they actually grade us for our referencing too. plus, they have resources that we MUST read up on. WTH.

then there's my boyfriend sweetiepie. we met on monday, wednesday, and today. yeap, see thrice in a week. HAHA!
on monday, we headed to Kaplan at orchard to enquire about his diploma, then had a very very heavy lunch. after lunch, i followed boyfriend for his haircut, met his pretty friend awhile. we went novena after that to buy ourselves polo tees of the same kind. but it was too expensive, so i guess it's someother time. ( I NEED A JOB )
wednesday, i went over to his workplace after school. such a long, tiring journey. chilled out at our usual place awhile then headed back home.

on thursday, i attended this interview at a student care. NINE IN THE MORNING. && I SPENT 16 BUCKS ON CAB FARE! i doubt if the lady's going to call me back. certainly not, because i'm INDIAN. what the fuck right. she claims that indians have bad attitude towards work, i don't disagree. thanks to all those rotten indian apples. then again, she could have just kept that comment to herself.

lastly, today! i FINALLY met rosey. after a loooong long time. so good to see her again. and she said i lost weight. hehe. we had lunch at fish and co. together with praveena and raj. then boyfriend came along while we were doing some window shopping at charles & keith. i've got my eye on this red heel, i want i want. i'll make sure i get it soon!! after sitting around at the donut shop aimlessly, cam-whoring away. we made our way to kallang to bowl. rosey didn't follow us as she had to go.
bowling is fun. but i officially suck at it. :( after bowling, we were chilling at coffee bean, exchanging some fruitful thoughts :P and back home. i'm too lazy to elaborate already. pictures are on facebook. (:



on a extremely random note. 2 weeks is such a long time.

i love you.

i've been waiting so long for my hair to chopped off and finally today, i managed to get it done. & I DON'T LIKE MY NEW HAIRCUT. 1. my hair's too short! 2. i think my boyfriend's going to freak out and boycott me. 3. i can't really tie up my hair neatly. THIS SUCKS! then again, i can't miraculously have long hair overnight. i'll wait, and waitttt.

the weather's being a total bitch today. it's extremely HOT. i just came out from the shower about 10 mins ago and i'm feeling sweaty and sticky again. what the hell. i blame global warming!!

besides the new hair, the highlight of the day would be dinner with Erica and Fazli!! it was so much of fun. we had dinner at mac and then we headed back to my crib to chill. we ended up cam-whoring so much with fazli's webcam. oh, oh. fazli's mac laptop is so uber cool. it lights up by itself in the dark. how cool is that! the webcam is another reason why i should get a mac laptop.

you can view a few of our classic photos here and the rest on facebook!












i think boyfriend has fallen asleep while watching tv. i'm going to leave him alone to wander in his lala land while i hit mine real soon. i'm feeling tired even though i didn't do much today.

there was this boy, the boy she never imagined to ever be with be. and within months, he swept her off feet. till now, there's no answer to why she has fallen so deeply for him and continues to fall in deeper. the past may have been bitter but the present has made up for it and the future would hold the key to more bliss. all she can ever tell him. baby, despite all the reasons you've said, i can only tell you. I LOVE YOU. my love for you has no reasons.

i love you, sivashankar.

the past few days has been so far away from the word normal. plenty of fake smiles, plenty of lies. when will it be the same again, i wonder.

sometimes, the emotions are so strong that it dominates me and it's difficult to overcome it. to kick it aside, it seems so impossible. even to pretend like everything's fine, it keeps lingering around that i ended falling back into the black hole. and, poof! there comes another tiff. be it with brother, boyfriend or mother. it's just so tiring. to keep trying to explain, only to find yourself screwing things up again. time and again, i tell myself. ignorance is bliss. apparently, the motto doesn't work well with me. anymore. whatever happened to haruna, the days where she could go on ignoring so many things just to keep herself happy.

you know what. whoever gives a fuck. i don't.
(then again, i know i'm just consoling myself. let me do it. i feel happier)

i should be getting ready for tuition right now but i refuse to move anywhere. i'm plain lazy. not like they pay me what it's worth. speaking of which, i badly need a job. to at least pay off my handphone bills. pray together with me. the tuition center will reply me with a favorable answer and pay me well.

i feel like ranting on and on but i should be gone now.

before that, on a happier, carefree note. my family and i will be gone on a holiday to India during the June holidays. seriously, despite all the phobia, thanks to past experiences. i can't wait! at least, it's going to be a break away from everything, for two weeks.



i miss you. i miss the late night talks. i miss the laughter. i miss everything.

i don't know why do i even try when it's just so hard. sometimes, maybe giving up would be a much easier option.

a very odd hour to miss you. but i do.

today was so much of fun and i realised i missed nasri so much after seeing him. i wish i could have stayed with them for the night, sadly my parents think changi is too ulu and 'dirty'. so they forbidded the overnighting. nevertheless, i had my fair share of fun with nasri, shaun, siva, faisal, angus and two people whom i don't really know.

oh yes, i finally saw how people fish. and i think it's boring and tedious. also, the hooks on the line scare the fuck outta me. angus had himself hooked to the line by accident and i can't believe siva joked about it. angus looked like he was going to explode with vulgarities any moment.

then bam bam came about 45 mins before i had to leave, if only i could have stayed longer to company her.

picture time!! ((:





i'm just so tired of worrying about our future. i don't want it to become a reason for us to regret. i don't mean to be pissy or make you feel incapable. it's just me, the life with you. you and me but love isn't enough in the practical life. there's more to reality. i don't know if you realise.

i love you, more than you know. i hope you know.

the last when i posted i was ranting with a lot of rage. right now, i'm just going to rant on how much of pain i'm going through right now. who ever knew one bloody wisdom tooth could suck the life out of you. i didn't know. it doesn't really feel like the antibiotics are working well. and hell no, i'm not going for a surgery. big, long needles. ouch, the thought of it already hurts. i'm hungry too.

there hasn't been much happening. i can count the number of times i went out compared to rotting at home. all because, my dad think i go galavanting too much. on the other hand, i think once or twice a week is pretty reasonable. also, now that i only have one tuition assignment left. the other got cancelled for god knows what reason. i think they must have found it expensive. $160 for 2 kids, expensive much? i'm commentless. anyways, yeap. so i'm bored and stuck at home.

i met boyfriend, on monday. after much whining, i won. we didn't catch any movies on the cinemas, simply cause i wasn't in the mood. we ended up catching a few movies that i brought from home. and we didn't even finish watching any one of it. we were supposed to catch the new tamil movie today. since i was sick and he's working full shift today. i'm resting at home and planning to seek my dad for permission for nasri's camping thingy tomorrow.

as you can see, i'm just blogging right now because i'm bored and i do not know what to do.

on a random note, all those graduation pictures brings upon a tinge of sadness. oh well, another semester and i'm good to go too. nessa, don't forget the party (:

i don't know why my boyfriend's so busy at work that we haven't even spoke for a proper 10 minutes.

and i'm off. love ya'll. ((:

p.s i just killed a bug on my study table.

i'm so fucking mad right now, that i swear i'd kill that bitch when i see her. that bitch refers to my ex-maid. and i'm going to kill her cause she stole two of my most expensive bags. one of the bags was my birthday present, something which i really wanted. i know that what's gone cannot come back to me and another replacement is never going to be the same birthday present. fuck! fucking maids! BITCH!!!!

as requested by shweeee! darling. ((:
all done by mua! =P

right now, i'm feeling so ill. i wish i could just chop that nose off. &&!! my wisdom tooth is finally growing and the pain is killing me, really. it's affecting my ear too. so i have a freaking running nose, toothache and earache. god, how problematic can this body get?! mummy has been forcing me to visit the dentist since the time i woke up. i'm simply reluctant. no way! will i ever step into a dental clinic. it's been years and i have this never-ending phobia of dentists. it all started in primary school, where this dentist made my life so miserable. i will never forgive her!

boyfriend's at some family function. i miss him.

i should be getting ready to follow my mum for some household shopping but i'm just too lazy and ill.

ggggrrrrrrrrrrrr!

you know that sucky feeling, when you're really tired but you just can't seem to sleep. you end up doing other things which only tires you out more. and still you can't get to bed. yes, that's what i'm going through right now, at 2.24am. plus the throbbing headache since 5pm.

oh well, on the bright side. i had fun today. tons of it. i woke up much earlier than i would on normal days, cause i promised my little brother that i would be at his school (my former school) at 1.30 to pass him his 'excursion' bag. i thought i could be a little more helpful and considerate by reaching early, i ended up waiting for him till 1.50. fifty minutes in the hot sun, and mind you, there was a huge chameleon running around the area i was sitting at. like what the hell, i tried to remain calm as embarrassing myself wouldn't do me any good. while waiting, i managed to wake boyfriend up from his beauty sleep. i'm not being mean, i just needed to make plans. i missed him. so we made plans to catch a tamil movie 'arunthathi', then later on to meet praveena at dhoby ghaut. all plans were carried out successfully.

but i must say, there were too many loop holes in the movie. me being a curious/inquisitive child, i was irritating boyfriend with questions after questions. and the only answer he gave me was 'go ask them luh'. so much of help. plus all the censored scenes mades the movie look a little twisted. on the whole, i guess from a movie which is dubbed it wouldn't be that bad. and the girl aka the ghost aka the reincarnation - she was pretty! (:

after the movie, the two of us slowly made our way to plaza sing. to meet praveena and her boyfriend. praveena wanted to pay a visit to starhub to get her handphone number changed. but after waiting for about 15 minutes, we were all whining away. so she decided to just get it changed tomorrow. then we made our way to body shop so that i could get some stuff, then to dinner. dinner was awesome. we had indonesian food and the chilli was so oh-my-god-awesome. after dinner, we headed to starbuck to have cheesecake. yes, i know. that's alot of 'healthy food'. once in a while doesn't kill, does it? ((:

we all seperated on own paths to get home after having a lovely time (:



6 months, it is.
Happy 6th Month Anniversary, darling. Time flies, and very quickly the months pass too. Over the months, the love i have for you has only grown. despite all the downs we've had, i have never regretted a day of why i'm with this boy. over again and again, you only tend to surprise me with your changes and love. and i have never felt any happier before. i hope time would pass a little quicker, then i can have you all to myself. lastly, i love you. (:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY (: