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Monday, July 14, 2008, 3:56 AM
right, almost 4 in the morning and am not sleeping.
there's school and most importantly, a test after school.

i'm not prepared. i didn't study cause i couldn't put my mind to it. i was too distracted thinking about everything else under the sun except for my test. i'm feeling so lost about where am going to be after my diploma. to be exact, i don't know what i want in life. i wish i never had to grow up, it would have been much better being a baby or a toddler where you are in your own happy lala land. you don't have to make choices, you don't have to differentiate the right from the wrong. mostly you wouldn't have to hear your parents telling you..'do what you think is right cause i know and i trust that whatever you do is for the best'. but we all know, it's not possible. everyone has to go through this. life isn't easy. it isn't fair either. moreover, am starting to stress out when all my relatives start to ask me what i have planned to do in life. i feel like screaming in their face 'i have no fucking idea' but i can't. why cause, then they'll look down on me, my parents and start bitching about everything that's not true. so i put on a fake confident smile and tell them a rough plan, deep inside i know i'm still confused.

moving on. nasri.cs.nessa.rosey. and i have planned out an exercise schedule. the guys are training for their fitness test and us, girls to be fit and look nice. i feel so motivated knowing that my friends are all there to motivate me. =) thanks guys.


i wasted half an hour of my life listening to you blabber lies after lies. i don't really care about what you say or explain. cause things aren't going to change. i'm not taking a split second to think about turning back. i've moved on and i've erased you from my mind and heart. there's someone else dear and worthy in my mind and heart. i'm happy to know you are happy seeing the message. you don't have to apologize for who you are cause i like you for who you are despite all your characteristics. although it scares me sometimes, i don't feel threatened by it, it just makes me want to be there and tell you everything will be fine. and the girl whom you like is assuring you she only wants to be with you and noone else. if ever things change, i wont hesitate to tell you. i.miss.you.





and life continues. tomorrow will be a better day.