they ask me how am i. they ask me is everything okay. and i answer them each with a smile. but deep down, i'm broken. i thought i was doing fine but i realized i'm only just lying to myself each night before i go back to bed. because when the night falls, it hits me. i'm lonely. there are days where life seems to pick up and i need someone to share it with. but no one's around because everyone's got a life of their own to see to.

there are days where i miss you so much, i type page of text and delete it away. i scroll through my contacts to call but i put the phone away. there are days i hate you so much, i go to bed with so much anger build in me. there are days where i feel stuck between loving you and hating you, i cry myself to sleep.

i wish i could find a delete button somewhere to strike you off.

each time, i want to tell you. i want you so badly. i don't fucking care who else you have in your life. let me be with you till i fall out of this damned love. i'm even willing to sacrifice that much to have you.

if anyone could read my mind and found this out, they'd probably say i've gone insane. probably i have too. it's crazy, of course. to think about someone everyday. replaying every moment you've been together.

i should have regretted falling for him by now. but there hasn't been a single second throughout these months i have regretted knowing him, falling so deeply in love with him.

why do i even love you this much in the first place?