i need someone out there, a friend to be there for me. just this once to help me get out of this mess. i'm tired of helping everyone, solving all their problems, being a good listener. i have problems of my own which i can't figure out. it affects me when i listen to someone ranting. their rants clog up my head and he creeps in back.

i try to push him out of my head as much as i can. but it doesn't work, not even a single percent. i very well know i can't push him out my heart but i try and force him out of my head. if that doesn't work as well, what the fuck am i supposed to do.

days like these, i really want to talk to someone. someone who will just listen and i don't find anyone out there. i can't narrow down one person. how pathetic is my social circle, please tell me?!

i don't want to feel lonely, i hate this loneliness that overwhelms me.

i say there's no more tears left and where does this tear that's flowing down my cheek come from? i'm clueless. all i need to know is why the fuck do you mean this much to me? i've fallen out of this damned love for god knows how many times, i've been dumped and i always managed to get right back on track and continue living my life the way it's supposed to be. why not now?

i've ruined myself. you are the only thing that runs in my mind, the way you hold me, the way you leave pecks on my lips, the way we cuddle up.

i know i probably shouldn't be doing this to you. leaving you messages, killing you slowly with guilt. killing your relationship.

when i find this little courage in me, i will delete you off from facebook, my blog, and all your pictures. that way, we'll both be happier.

i need some peace within myself.